Social networking: Are virtual relationships feeling too real?
by Annie Koval
Jan 13, 2011
Only in Twitterland does a 16-year-old pop sensation trail the president as the second most influential person.
Indeed, Justin Bieber fever is taking over social networking sites, such as Twitter, according to the “Most Influential Topics of 2010” list recently published by Klout, a San Fransico-based a web analytic company.
So it’s no wonder Twitter went ablaze when celebrity gossip sites recently posted photos of the 16-year-old pop sensation kissing – God forbid! – singer and Disney star, Selena Gomez.
And his fans were furious.
Within days, Gomez’s Twitter account was filled with death threats and suicidal messages, such as “@selenagomez Selena iwillkillyoui hate you, you slut,you w*** iwill find you and hang you and drown you until you stop kicking!!! :@!” and ”@selenagomez If youare the Girlfriend of Justin IwillKillyouI HATE YOU :@ !!!”
They go on and on and on.
Aggressive language and cyber-bullying has become a byproduct of Internet culture, and as networking sites are becoming more popular, professionals are questioning their effect on mental health, especially in younger adolescents.
Dr. Eitan Schwarz, a Skokie adolescent and pediatric psychiatrist, said these comments are most likely not of a serious nature because of the “disconnection” that takes place when they are posted.
“It is easy for a kid to have this invisible shield on their computer. It’s a feeling that no one is watching you,” he said.
The significance of their action “doesn’t feel real” because it lacks face-to-face communication, which is a consequence of virtual relationships, Schwarz said.
“Our brains have all of these circuits so that we can form connections to others,” he said. “Social relationships are the only reason our brain exists. It takes experiences and a full interaction to develop.”
But teens are not the only ones logging onto social media sites. In fact, in 2010, for the first time, Facebook beat Google as the most popular site on the Internet, according to Nielsen, a web-tracking company.
Dr. Tracy Marks, an Atlanta psychiatrist and psychotherapist, works with professionals who struggle to find a balance between life and work when it comes to turning off smartphones and laptops.
“I think we are headed for something bad, an information overload,” she said. “It affects our concentration and makes us more distractible. When you have a mental clutter, your mind is always stimulated.”
What is considered relaxing to us, is not necessarily relaxing to our brain, Marks said.
“Even when you are clicking through people’s Facebook pictures, your brain is aroused and stimulated,” she said. “So, when you are ready to go to sleep because you are physically tired, you can actually think yourself awake because you have so much going on in your mind and it is racing with thoughts.”
But for social networkers who use Facebook as their main source of communication, it is hard to log off. Nicholas Paul, 26, is a Chicago musician and singer in the band Fireship.
“Personally, if a friend that doesn’t have Facebook, they miss out on 90 percent of what is going on in my life.”
Paul said he will accept friend requests from anyone who seems “remotely sane” because privatizing information for fans is “borderline irresponsible.”
The transparency on the sites is worrisome, Schwarz said.
Children online do not have a fully developed notion of privacy and do not start becoming more private until 10 to 12 years old, he said. “Most of them have been told about being private online, but I don’t think they care much.”
For Dave Horwitz, 27, an actor and comedian in Los Angeles, keeping his personal information inaccessible is a precaution. He maintains a popular blog called Dealbreaker, which was published as a book and is under works of becoming a pilot for an ABC television show.
“Looking back, I’ve made myself more accessible than I ever have been and ever should be when it comes to people being able to contact me anonymously,” he said. “I have been, for lack of better words, stalked.”
The first step to maintaining children’s consumption of social networking sites is having the parents take charge, Schwarz said.
“Sending a kid into cyberspace is like sending them into a candy store: they are not going to bring you back a balanced meal,” he said. “If you move the laptop from a desk facing a wall where the child is isolated to the kitchen table where people are, it becomes more a family event.”
For adults, checking sites and e-mail in chunks compared to continuously logging on as well as turning off all electronics an hour before sleeping will produce a healthier mind and a better sleep cycle, Marks said.
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