Damo turns 63 today. Or it could be 64. He wasn't clear on that when I
phoned him this morning. In fact, he wasn't clear on anything. He was
drunk at 10 a.m.
He gets medication by mail, and his seroquel is a week late arriving.
He thinks it was stolen from his mailbox by some bad neighbours. I
suggested several times that he phone the pharmacy for another refill.
He totally ignored me and pattered his usual patter about cleaning his
apartment--the dishes in the kitchen need washing, his grandfather's
bureau needs to have paper sorted, yadda yadda yadda. Same bullshit
he's been prattling about for two years now.
He sends me letters. In them, he describes people innocently
mentioning the fact that he'll be evicted at the end of December and
needs to find a new home. Every time anyone so much as breathes a hint
of that he falls apart and goes to the liquor store and gets drunk.
Hiding his head in the sand, letting homelessness encroach upon him
and devour him.
I remember spending THREE YEARS trying to persuade him to see a pdoc
and apply for an Army pension. It was useless. Then he found a local
girlfriend and she essentially grabbed him by the penis and dragged
him off to the doctor's office and squeezed his balls with pliers
until he had filled out an Army pension application. I felt like such
a loser failure for not being able to help a friend. Now, he's making
me feel that way again.
I was tentatively planning to save up money to visit him over
Christmas. Now, I don't dare, because it makes me too angry to just
talk to him on the phone. In fact, I don't think I'll be phoning him
again any time soon.
Happy birthday, Damo, you worthless loser.
Miki
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From Damodara's webpage: Disinherited
(the dotted lines are different pages in the insert.)
Dear Friends and supporters,
In August of 2000 I began playing the guitar with renewed vigor. I was living in the woods, at the time, after being evicted. My guitar was the same as a piece of driftwood keeping a shipwrecked sailor afloat.
This close relationship with the instrument has continued. I have rediscovered the guitar and have not been so enthused with my music since the early seventies. I have been in the longest growth period as a guitar player I have ever experianced. I am pleased to share my guitar with you through the vehicle of this CD.
There is a story which has run parrelell to this musical rebirth and it needs to be shared as well. Over the years many of you have heard bits and pieces of it, through previous CD inserts or conversations or at my website. With a just respect for the opinions of others, as well as for personal therapy, I'm going to tell that story.
..................................
As many of you are aware, I have been receiving Social Security beneits since 1974. My disabiity is psychiatric and I believe it to be directly related to my service in Viet-Nam.
In September of 1998 I found approximately 22,000 dollars in my bank account. I asked at the bank and was told it was a direct deposit by the Social Security administration. Being as I hadn't received any paperwork concerning it, and fearing there was a problem, I had congressman Smth look into the matter for me.
....................................
Congressman Smith found it was from the Social Security Administration and it represented ten years of underpayments. I had the relevent paperwork forwarded to me from the Congressman's office and received direct mailings from the Social Security administration as well.
As it was explained to me, if you earn money while receiving benefits and you pay into your social security account your benefits are increased by some proportion. There was an apparent oversight and I hadn't received my just benefits for ten years.
I had been working intermittently as a substitute teacher from fall of 87 to spring of 92. I had informed the 800 number for social security of this fact.
....................................
Less then five months later, after congressman Smith looked into the 22,000 dollars, in early January of 99, I was informed by phone that there was a problem with my Social Security account.
On a second perusal Social Security decided that what actually happened was, I had exceeded my income allowance back in 1989 and was thus OFF benefits in 1989. Therefore I should pay them back for the benefits I had received since then. The amount they wanted was 93,000 dollars.
I went to Congressman Smith's local office and informed them of the situation.
I thought we had just addressed this issue. I didn't think that they would be allowed to just go back and forth on information they provided to a U.S. Congressman.
The plan was to file a postdated application which would declare I was disabled in 1990. The congressman's local office people told me to sign as Social Security suggested. That way the 93,000 disappears and I get my benefits.
The new position of Social Security and Congressman Smith's people , was that I had been overpaid 93,000 thousand dollars. I was debited for all of the benefits I had received since 1989. I was NOT underpaid 22,000 dollars. Unless I signed the post dated application.
...................................
I resisted this aparent lack of integrity (in my opinion) of congressman Smith's office help. Why, after the intervening years of on going psychiatric problems and a work history which reflects a disability, would they attempt to impose on me such a "Finding"? Hadn't I just go through ten years of not receiving my just benefits? I believe the first decision was the correct way to deal with a ten year old oversight.
I went to a lawyer and explained that I wanted to refute this preposterous understanding of Social Security and Congressman Smith's people.
The correct and humane way to deal with the events of ten years previous was the original decision.
My lawyer explained not to worry it was in her hands. However she never filed against their Finding. She did nothing. My benefits were stopped some months later and I was presented with a bill for 93,000 dollars.
Having my Lawyer and the Congressman's people and the Social Security people, all telling me to sign the post dated application which hypothetically would resolve the issue of the 93,000 dollars and unable to refute the preposterous understanding, I signed. It was November of 99.
.........................................
In June of 2000 I was told my application was denied. My Doctor and their doctor had both declared that I was disabled, and inspite of my ongoing medical history, my application was denied. I was astounded.
I fired the lawyer, of course, and by November I was able to find a lawyer who agreed that if I hire a lawyer to do something, like contest a Finding, and they don't do it that the appropriate step to take was to change lawyers.
Most lawyers didn't agree and would not help.
............................................
A year later in June of 2001, on appeal, I was able to see the judge and was reinstated by October. My award was approximately half the amount I had preiously been receiving. That is not enough to survive on, I had to appeal.
My first appeal of the June 2001 decision came back explaining that when you are on disability and removed, when you reapply you get the amount you were last receiving.
Apparently the post dated application did not work as Social Security, Congressman Smith's people, and my lawyer intended. They were paying me what I was "last paid" in1989. All of my cost of living increases from the intervening years had been wiped out.
The 93,000 was not mentioned.
........................................
I had been living in a welfare motel and on county Human Services support at the time of the initial decision. Winning the award made me inelligible for welfare.
I was kicked out of the welfare motel. My food stamps were reduced to near nothing. No past due money was paid.(The past due money is the money from the date of filing to the date of the award)
I was in the worst situation of this entire shell game story ; standing outside the motel on route 130 with my backpack and guitar. My only option was to head south where the weather would not be so cold for the coming winter. I had 400 and some odd dollars in my pocket. My two years of homelessness and marginal homelessness seemingly were not over.
However,thanks to intervention on the part of friends, I was able to stay here in Trenton.
.........................................
From then, October 2001, until this past september I was regularly visiting the Social Security ofice requesting to see an accounting of the past due money and inquiring about the status of my appeals. I wanted to know what happened to the money. What was given to my legal counsel, what was repaid to county social services etc.?
In september of 2002 , another year later, I received a letter from Social Security. It was a bill for approximately 84,000 dollars. There was no accounting present this time either, just the bottom line, 84,000. The letter stated my benefits would be stopped until the 84,000(approx) was recovered. No further explaination was included.
I assumed they were going to make me homeless for a third time in four years.
I can only assume that some portion of the money from my two years without benefits was subtracted from the 93,000, some portion was given to county welfare, and some portion was given to my lawyer(s).It seems appropriate to me that the last five months' benefits after Smith's inquiry should be charged to him. Maybe he paid some of it. I don't know.
.......................................
Social Security provided a clearly enounciated month by month accounting of my past due money when the Congressman inquired for me concerning the 22,000 dollar underpayment. I was given a clear month by month accounting of the 93,000 "overpayment" as well. I need to see the accounting for the past due money.
In September of 2002 I was sent a second letter which declared "we have received your request for an explaination." It took a year for them to acknowledge my requests. Now, I imagine, I have another year to wait for the accounting.
Thankfully the second letter also informed me that my benefits would not be stopped until they responded to my requests for an explaination. I won't be made homeless a third time, at least not this month.
............................
The second lawyer I found stopped speaking with me after we went to court and my attempts at further communication with him were reduced to "I can't do anything further for you.". Social Security paid him his money (I guess) and he left. He had no further interest in my predicament.
Since January of 1999, I have been lied to and mislead by lawyers, bearucrats and congressional offices (it seems to me). I am declaring that the amount of 93,000 dollars is a totally arbitrary amount and the debit (if it exsists) is their fault, and not mine, and that in consideration of the facts, the issue is being dealt with in a cruel and inhumane manner.
Apparently the original postdated application, touted so proudly as the "answer" by Social Security, my lawyer, and Smith's people, had gone askew or I would not be in this situation. The post dated application was supposed to put me back on Social Security benefits in 1990. Thus no giant pile of money would exsist, and my right to defend myself in a timely manner would not have been arbogated.
.....................................
During a September (2002) appointment at Social security it was explained I had one oset date of 1974. Thats then.
I have another onset date of 1999. Thats now.
I understood that the intervening years had not been addressed.
I went along with her suggestion that I argue that my date of "onset" was in 1974 and not 1999.
If I have one onset date (of a chronic disorder), the implication is that my previous benefits will returned.
I filed an appeal based on her suggestion.
No one has been able to respond to me about the status of my original appeal in which my argument was based on the arbogation of my right to refile in a timely manner(in 1990) because of the retroactive removal. And my second argument is that the date of the application should be respected.(post dated).
..........................................
How about this amusing piece of logic.
The judge put me back on social security in 1999, in 2001, before they took me off social security in 1989, in 1999. When the accountants figured out my new benefits they allowed the social security administration's time "jump" to 1989 to stand (changing the original decision) and disallowed the judge's time "jump" to 1999 to stand which should have changed the decision to stop my benefits in the first place. Certainly if my disbility was affirmed by Doctors and a judge, then four months later they wouldn't have declared otherwise.
The above argument is proof I should stay away from Lawyers politicians and bearucrats. I'm starting to think like they do.
I said to a friend once....if 93,000 dollars doesn't immediately make you question their judgement no logical argument will change your mind. either.
...........................................
Over the years of withstanding this tyranny and oppression, I have been told too often, by American citizens, three things.
One: All lawyers are thieves.
Two: All politicians are crooked.
Three: All berucrats are incompetant.
It appears these are common beliefs.
That is an apalling state of affairs.
Understand that the spirit of america is not only for marching to drums.
We had best focus some of this American Spirit on the domestic front as well as foreign wars if we intend to be a free people.
..................................
I'm a vietnam veteran and a senior citizen.
The veracity of my statements are reinforced by the personal references of my closer friends.
For most of the main points I presented here, I have evidentiary document proof.
I have been playing the guitar through all of this to help me wait out the interminable stonewalling and delays.
The title of this CD,"Disinherited", is based on the current chapter of my struggle.
If you would like to support me in my struggle and/or to promote my guitar music I am available for private parties. I can be hired for coaching sessions on the guitar. And lastly, if there is anyone who you think my music would "speak to" tell them of it. Help me sell a CD or two.
I can be reached at xxx-xxx-xxxx
trentonboy@webtv.net
My name is, of course,Dan.
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