VMAs have become a carnival of self-promotion

‘Video’ games

VMAs have become a carnival of self-promotion

By Rich Juzwiak Monday, August 29, 2011


Once upon a time, the Video Music Awards pretended to care about videos, but it seems they’re not even interested in doing that anymore.

They throw some bones around that rarely make much sense. What about Katy Perry’s combustible bust made “Firework” the Video of the Year, but not the Best Female Video, which it lost to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way?”

The needlessness of giving pop stars trophies was evident in the speeches. Gaga’s (in which she reiterated the simplistic, yet specific message of “Born”) and Perry’s (in which she reiterated the simplistic, vague message of “Firework” with “I feel like I’m doing something right when I sing that song”), in particular, were self-administered pats on the back.

Hilariously, Tyler, the Creator’s expletive-laden speech included a message for the kids, which was almost entirely inaudible. If you believe that children are the future, you’ll agree that this was for the best. Meanwhile, Dave Grohl, accepting Foo Fighters’ Best Rock Video Moonman for “Walk,” told the crowd, “Never lose faith in real rock ’n’ roll music.” He must know that the church closed a while ago, yes?

So right, the awards are stupid. There are always the performances, right? Ugh! Jessie J, the “house band” with a busted leg, bridged to and from virtually every commercial break with seated warbling. Clearly, someone still wants to make Jessie J happen, but the only thing happening is everyone on Twitter saying, “That’ll do, Jessie J.” Adele’s desolate rendition of “Someone Like You,” for which she was backed only by a piano, was supposed to set brows high, but it was a snooze (note: that song is virtually purposeless without the cord-scraping falsetto at each chorus’ conclusion). Kanye West and Jay-Z performed “Otis” together amongst flames and smoke, and their jeans said everything about its non-eventfulness. If MTV is barely bothering to care about music, Chris Brown could be its spokesman because, as he tossed around the stage in a harness, he openly lip-synched.

On the good side, Beyoncé performed the adorably dorky “Love on Top” in a sequined blazer that was straight out of the cellophane of a party store’s ringmaster costume set. At the end, she flung back her jacket and rubbed her baby bump, letting the world know what they already knew when she did something similar on the “black” carpet before the show: She is with child. Best Moonman of the Night!

Gaga opened the show with a bizarre standup routine and remained in male drag through the ceremony. Her greaser character, Jo Calderone — as seen in the video for “You and I,” a song she performed — is straight out of an S.E. Hinton cinematic adaptation and her interpretation is straight off a high school stage. It’s sometimes hard to know how to take Gaga, but any reaction beyond second-hand embarrassment for this was virtually inconceivable.

But Gaga embodied the cross-genre spirit of the show better than anyone. After all, the VMAs were ultimately the bridge between a very special “Jersey Shore” episode (Ronnie and Mike fought, but Mike hit his own head and sent himself to the hospital!) and an unappealing-sounding new show called “I Just Want My Pants Back.” (Are we British now?) Even the tribute to Amy Winehouse was basically an ad for Tony Bennett’s “Duets II” album. He presented a video of him recording “Body and Soul” with her in March. In it, she wore a shirt from her Fred Perry line of clothing, which is now available. Synergistic as always.