Fuck Your Ass - by Sean Bedlam

oursecretbaseisunderground

 

Fuck Your Ass

Fuck Transformers, fuck Ghostbusters, fuck your childhood, Fuck Back to the Future, fuck the past, definitely fuck zombies, fuck ninjas in the ass, fuck pirates in the ass, fuck Cowboys Vs Aliens in the ass.
Fuck Captain America in the mouth, fuck America in the mouth, fuck Star Wars, fuck Star Trek so very, very hard. Fuck backward looking child-men, fuck calling yourself a gamer, a nerd, a geek or a fucking really-deserve-to-be-fucked-in-the-ass lifehacker.
Fuck sequels, fuck people who say a sequel “ruined my childhood”, fuck even remembering being a child. Fuck three generations of consumers, fuck collecting merchandise if you’re an adult. Fuck The Goonies, fuck talking in quotes from Futurama, fuck anyone who still watches The Simpsons, fuck South Park. Fuck what you would do in case of an apocalypse, fuck sharing your actual feelings on Facebook, fuck spoiler alerts. Seriously fuck people who care about spoilers twice as hard as fucking Doctor Who fans deserve, which is half what Torchwood fans should cop right in the fuckhole.
Fuck your cat, fuck your kids, fuck your latest purchase, fuck your announcements about what retarded game you’re about to play. Fuck saying, “I’m bored”, fuck talking about superheroes while being a fat fuck who never exercises because you were bullied in high school. Fuck never wising up to the fact you had a punchable face and it’s a miracle the jocks didn’t drown you.
Fuck your anxiety, fuck your inability to make any kind of eye contact, fuck feeling like people are looking at you, fuck your habit of making everything about the same you you cannot fucking stand and think deserves to get fucked.
Fuck thinking this is directed at you, fuck people who have ruined culture by fixating on bullshit, becoming territorial about it and obsessing about what it all means without  ever bringing imagination into the mix. Fuck pop culture references, they’re a great way to let people know you’ve got problems no-one should care about. Fuck your ungratefulness at living in such an exciting time to be alive. Fuck being young people who are afraid of change. Fuck being terrified of hurting your parents feelings by actually growing your own personality.
Really, really fuck thinking this is about you. Thanks to you no-one can say a single real thing about real life without risking being bullied by a horde of faggoty weaklings.
Most of all fuck your ass, fuck the hole you’ve never wiped properly, that has bits of toilet paper stuck to it because cleaning your worthless grey meat butthole is somehow beneath you. See what I did there? “Beneath you”.